Extravascated Fluid from the Orad Cavity

Woo!! L33T!!!

2007-06-19T06:43:00.000-07:00

hahaha im so happy i learnt how to add a new music file

man it took soo long for me to fiddle with the html (which i know nothing of) to get the playlist thingy exactly where i want it w/o screwing up my blog layout

hahahaha so happy

happy josh

them nips

2007-05-27T06:12:00.001-07:00

i had a conversation with a friend who works in a japanese company. the conversation turned to food. this is what i found out

in japan when ordering food, if u are a gaijin(foreigner) who doesnt understand jappy language

rule no 1: order by pointing to the many colourful pictures that dot the menu, or point to the many fake plastic displays of food that them nips love to display prominently. it doesnt matter what it is anyway cos its probably gonna be seafood. otherwise its wagyu beef. or yoshinoya. or tamagochi. whatever.

rule no 2: if there are no pictures, then start to sweat abit. who knows whether that Sake on the menu is salmon or alcohol. u definitely dont want to toast rounds of fish with your bosses. it might not sit well with their anal retentive bottoms (or so i hear) So....flip to the middle of the menu if u want a decent meal and check the prices! this is very important, because the japs love putting zeros before their decimal points, and too much yen in your bill is not zen eh...

rule no 3: if their prices are not clearly stated, then u better hope that you are not the one footing the bill... in fact, rule no 3 should always be your first priority, in any circumstance.

if all else fails you could always order chinese takeaway.

josh

the works

2007-05-24T00:43:00.000-07:00

a typical long case precis....

"Good Morning Dr.

Mr X is a 62 yr old malay gentleman who presents with a hard, non-painful mass in the right side of the face just above the angle of the mandible that grew from a small lump to a much larger one in 2 mths. He also complains of pain in his right lower limb following a fall 2 mths ago, as well as loss of weight of 10kg in 7 mths. Mr X denies having any fever, breathlessness, LOA or sleeping problems.

Significantly, Mr X has a past history of masses diagnosed as lymphomas dating back as follows: in 2000, he complained of swollen testes and was given chemo and radiotherapy at TTSH. In 2003, another lymphoma which was hard and swollen but non tender appeared in his jaw, for which he was given only radiotherapy, as he refused treatment with chemotherapy. in Jan 2007, another lymphoma was found in his left inner thigh, for which radiotherapy treatment was given. all 3 lymphomas were resolved following treatment.

In addition, Mr X sustained a right lower limb injury following a fall 2 mths ago, for which he received painkillers. An X-ray was taken but found no fractures. He also has a 20 yr history of DM and a 20 yr history of HTN, but denies having any heart or cerebrovascular problems.

Mr X is married with 2 daughters and 1 son aged between 24 and 37 yrs old. He has 5 sisters, 3 grandaughters and 1 grandson, and lives with his wife and youngest daughter. Significantly, 2 of his sisters suffered from stroke previously, and his mother and grandmother both had a history of DM and HTN. the family visits every night. Mr X smoked an average of 3 packs a day for 7 years, but denies any drinking habit.

Mr X has been working as a prison supervisor at Changi Prison for the past 15 yrs, and his employer is paying for the bulk of his medical bills, the rest of which is covered by his personal medisave account.

Mr X is on the following medications: Acarbose, Glibenclamide and metformin for his DM, Captopril for his HTN and Simvastatin for his high chol.

My preliminary diagnosis for Mr X is a recurrence of a lymphoma, possibly secondary to a primary malignancy site. my differentials include a lipoma, infection, parotitis, squamous cell malignancies, and a submandibular gland swelling. With your permission, I would now like to perform a physical examination of the mass, as well as the rest of Mr X's cervical lymph nodes, together with their drainage areas in the head and neck region to further confirm my diagnosis, as well as exclude the rest of my differentials. thank you."

~finis~
josh

blah

2007-05-13T03:10:00.000-07:00

so he sang the only song he knew how and it went like this

" give me oil in my lamp keep it burning burning burning
give me oil in my lamp i pray,
give me oil in my lamp keep it burning burning burning
keep it burning to the break of day"

for he was an opium addict.

from the abyss

2007-04-19T19:56:00.000-07:00

it really has been a long time since i last blogged

mainly and frankly ive kinda lost interest in blogging.....no time is another factor, and no readership is a third

but mainly its cos ive lost interest. and also cos i was scared. of all the tests of all the exams and the fear of failure.

i tink ive passed m2. yay?

am i making sense?

dunno. but in church last week my pastor did a scripture reading which i found really edifying, and comforting. the bible really does have some really nice verses to hold on to when it seems u can hold on to nothing else.

i write this entry to reproduce it here, to provide my current and future self some perspective over the life which i live now. the verse is about worry. from matt 6:25-34

" therefore i tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink, or about your body, what you will wear. is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? look at the birds of the air, they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. are you not much more valuable than they? who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

and why do you worry about clothes? see how the lilies of the field grow. they do not labour or spin. yet i tell you that not even solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. if that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will He not much more clothe you, o you of little faith? so do not worry, saying 'what shall we eat, or what shall we drink or what shall we wear', for the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. but seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow wil worry about itself. each day has enough trouble of its own."

this is my inspiration verse of the month.

josh

update

2007-01-05T19:45:00.000-08:00

im too damn tired and uptight and grumpy and scared of monday to update.

word of the day: "calvinism". what bullshit.

its that emo thing again

2006-12-06T06:06:00.000-08:00

having just finished 6 gruelling papers, and having earned a well deserved rest, i now find myself looking forward to just one thing.

more tests in 5 weeks time!!! hurray!! die.

actually i am actively trying to prevent myself from doing any work. in a conversation with a friend a few daes ago, i mentioned that my life has devolved into nothing but my studies, and i have nothing....nothing!! to look forward to. even my beloved computer fails to exite me that much now. woe! woe! >_<

feeling desolate, i chanced upon my old school album circa 2001, and decided to flip through it. to my surprise, i found an article i wrote as a j1 inside it, and on a whim, i decided to publish it in todays entry, to be captured for posterity. thank you.

*rewind back 5 years. an eternity...*

"being a second intake student has been both a trying and unique experience. having had the opportunity to spend 3 mths in what some would consider to be a 'greener' jc, i am still getting snide remarks of how 'lagi bodoh' ive been to throw away such an opportunity. yet there is little cause for regret. i regard ACS as the institution that has nurtured and educated me, and the holistic approach it takes to teach its students is an experience to be found no where else, speaking volumes about its lifelong committment to 'touch and change lives'. at ACJC, having been given the privilege both to be a counsellor as well as a member of the 'scone' club i have indeed enriched my school life, and i sincerely believe that the next 2 yrs here will be a rewarding one.

exactly what is an ACSian? i had the opportunity to pose this qn to one of my seniors some time back, and the answer i got was as simple and direct as it was true.

"No Regrets"

we do what we want, we go where we want to, answerable only to ourselves and God. we live life to the fullest, living, laughing, making friends, not giving 2 hoots about people who may not like us. we have a natural charisma and a 'never say die' attitude that overcomes all obstacles, and a perennial childishness that fuels in us a curiosity to try all things new, and excel in all things done. ACSians be proud of your heritage, and strive to blaze our own legacy for those who follow our footsteps. remember....carpe diem....NO REGRETS!"

* fast forward to today*

wah lao. as i read that, i realized that out of 800 j1's in that year, only me and 3 others got a chance to pen an article in the 'junior pages' section.

but tts not the point. the point is that somewhere between graduation and eternal sufferance (ie then and now) i was changed. not fundamentally, for i still live my life with very few regrets, but changed in the sense that slightly more youthful idealism has been replaced by jaded jauntiness (if u can understand the term)

there is a saying that when a man is young he dreams of changing the world. when he grows older and realizes the world cannot be changed, he wished to change his family. when his family refuses to change, and as he lay on his deathbed, he realized that if only he had changed himself first, then he could have changed his family, and perhaps even done more than that.

it is times like these that i remniscence about the heritage of my past. of what i have gone through, to become what i am now. i think about my school. my friends. my family. my life. my ups and downs. my success and failures. my singlehood.(!!!!!) my future. my God.

if i could have one wish, it wouldnt be for money, or world peace or all that jazz.
it would be to live a life of meaning. that must be one of the hardest things to do, ever.

i apologize for this rambling post. it doesnt make much sense. it was never intended to.
this being my blog, i find it carthartic to pen my thoughts out now and then. i leave you with a quote which inspired my school motto.

"the past we inherit, the present we create, but for those who continue to hope and pray,the best is yet to be!"

josh (:

holy huddle

2006-10-29T02:12:00.000-08:00

Qn: What exactly do I mean by a holy huddle?
Ans: The holy huddle is an observed social phenomena whereby Christians are seen acting in a certain manner that, whilst appearing to be the correct thing to do, actually has the effect of either pushing other non christians away from themselves, or not having enough time and energy to evangelise, thus failing to fufill The Great Commission. Based on my personal experience, I have identified 3 main areas whereby the holy huddle may be getting in the way of our Holy God.

Problem No 1 : Legalism

"The Law of Faith is belief that God is righteous and merciful and that He will provide His own way of salvation for mankind. This plan of salvation occurred when God the Son (Jesus) paid the requirements of the law for all of us on the cross. These who by faith believe God and accept the sacrifice He would and did provide for our sins will be saved. God is interested in saving people who truly trust in Him. He is not interested in having people in His presence who think they achieved salvation by following the letter of the laws they were incapable of keeping. Nor does He want those who think they will make heaven only because by their own efforts they followed rituals of their denomination." (Don Koenig :Christian Legalism - The Dark Side of Christianity)
Thankfully such people are quite rare nowadays. but they were rather common in the bible werent they?(Think Martha and Mary, or the Pharasees)
These are christians who seem like such a sticker for rules and regulations, who chatise us if we havent been titheing properly, who preach hellfire and damnation upon those recalcitrant people who refuse to embrace christianity, or the many various other minor transgressions that we commit on a daily basis, that brings harsh words and harsher feelings down upon our heads. Whilst they may have good intentions, the problem with legalism is the arising of a 'holier than thou' attitude, that would invariably create a rather tense atmosphere amongst fellow Christians. Worse still, should non-christians see such nit-picking behavior displayed, we may be alienating the very people we are trying to save! personally i believe that practising legalism is also bringing down undue and unauthorized judgement upon others, when the bible clearly states that judging our fellow men is the exclusive perogative of God!

Problem No 2: Mixing only with Christians
This is a far more relevant topic to discuss. This problem arises when we count too many of our friends as believers, and we are spending almost all our time with such like minded people. Personally I am somewhat guilty of this too so I speak from experience. I believe it is quite a prevalent one too. As christians, generally speaking, we all come from a similar socio-economic background, (chinese, english educated, both parents working, etc) go to the same schools, know the same people etc (esp in tiny singapore!) so many of us end up being around other people who are like us.....Christians. This is bad only when it get to the point whereby we are unable to evangelise to non-believers because we cannot relate to their needs, or worse, because we dont even get to meet them. In addition, this issue can lead to the Perception of Elitism, hence resulting in non-believers becoming turned off by our inbreeding ways.

Problem No 3: Living an Overly Christian Lifestyle
I can already hear you going "what on earth are you saying? how could that possibly be wrong!"
Allow me to explain. We are living an overly christian lifestyle when most of our waking hours, weekends and free time are spent doing churchy stuff. I am talking about the christian who spends his entire weekend from friday night to sunday night in church, attending services, leading cell groups, attending cell groups, registering for seminars, going for bible study, worship practice, choir practice, organizing church camps, participating in church camps....the list goes on. I personally know of someone who goes for 3 seperate services in his church because he feels the message is "different each time"! Surely that would be considered an overkill? The book of Corinthians says that there is a season for everything under heaven, and I believe God wants us to live well balanced lives such that our academic/working lives, social lives and spritual lives are in complete harmony.

I'll end off with a few questions for your personal soul-searching.
What good does it do for us if we participate in all the abovementioned events such that it leaves us with no time for ourselves, our friends or our studies?
How are we supposed to evangelise when we are continually drained of the time and energy to do so?
What impression are we giving our non-believing friends when we repeatedly refuse to go chill with them because of yet another church event?

God Bless
Joshua

some interesting things i heard

2006-10-07T07:00:00.000-07:00

hmm im typing this at bryan's place now, waiting for him to finish mugging so we can play snooker haha...

anyway 2 interesting things that i overheard over the course of the week...

" i dont want to drink this water, fish f***ed in it!"

" caspases are not the only thing activated by cleavage....."

-_-.....

some other jokes heard at other times....

Qn: what do you call a person who has chicken pox?
Ans: varicella! (very sad lah).......diao

Qn: why did the skeleton refuse to go to the prom?
Ans: becos he had no body to go with! hahaha~

yups. hope u like my new song. i do!
josh

THE HOLY SACRED ORDER OF D.O.C.

2006-09-25T06:44:00.000-07:00

dreamt up an interesting topic to blog about....u know how most normal pple (by that i mean males only) like playing computer games...well i say that everyone is playing a game all the time...its your life haha....and its an rpg, or role playing game for those who are unenlightened.

well the reason for this entry is becuz i was lying down on my beddy bed (as i am wont to do now that the mid sem break is upon us yay yay yay) and suddenly a brainwave hit me...*ouch*..

hey! wont it be cool to document the relative hierachy that goes on in our austere YLLSOM?? for the edification of the general public and all who by happenstance or devious design periodically chance upon my humble blog? do i hear a yay? yes i do.....so the voices in my head started to dictate to me an outline for this post....let us begin!

presenting....
THE HOLY SACRED ORDER OF D.O.C.

pre-med aka "jc kid" : they are pieces of chicken shite and are generally not worth the (virtual) ink used to document their miserable lives lived in eternal (relative only) servitude and subservience for the betterment of their um....elders...yep. most importantly, they are NOT members of The Order as yet, not having undergone the rigourous initiation.
Brimming with enthusiasm, idealism and innocence....their ranks are frequently culled by well-meaning elders telling them not to enter and sell their souls for miserable amounts of money.

favourite phrase: i want to help people/save the world! take me...take me pleaseeeee!!

1st yr student aka "the lucky one" : they are the first real members of The Order, having been properly initiated and selected. no longer pieces of foul fowl fecal foop, (sorry not a real word but wth) they are given rudimentary training in 3 basic disciplines and equipped with the barest essentials to stun a layman or a pre-med kid with verbose sounding verbiage. invariably, neither the hapless listener or the 1st yr student has any idea what those bombastic words mean....also, sprouting gibberish is about all the bubbly 1st yr student can do. they take comfort in the fact that they are still brimming with self confidence, idealism and a postive outlook on life that is frankly, grossly unjustified...laughed at by seniors, they discover (to their dismay) that they have signed away their lives for endless toil and debatable benefits....HAHAHA its too late to back out now suckers!!!!

favourite phrase : " no lah, just lucky i got in thats all"

2nd yr student aka "alice" : why such an enigmatic nickname? well alice is short for alice in wonderland. this is because all 2nd yr students can identify with alice as she spirals down the rabbit hole, the descent an allegorical reference to their own lives as it too spirals downward, out of control, with no ending in sight.
faced with rigourous training in no less that 6 exacting disciplines, they are learning, firsthand, how deep the (shit)hole really goes. too much theory and not enough joy juice makes them very cranky if u can find them at all...they are most likely squirrelled away in some obscure corner quizzing each other on the arcane and diabolical thingmajigs that work inside our whatchacallit that ultimately results in, you know, that thing.

favourite phrase : "eh doing anything today? no? lets go library together!"

3rd yr student aka "the suit" : clothes maketh the man so the saying goes. it definitely seems the case for the 3rd year student. dressed in office attire for the 1st time, they are finding learning in the various different hospitals and polyclinics very different from the sterilized lecture-tutorial system. also, they have The Scope, hung around their necks, which confers a godlike attraction with regard to the opposite, (non healthcare related profession) sex. 3rd yrs are in a peculiar position. looked upon with awe and respect (yeah rite) from their juniors for entering the hallowed Clinical Years, they are still viewed with derision by the denizens of the hospitals. like the scum they are perceived to be, 3rd yr students are prevalent, appearing when most unwanted, persistent, and very very hard to get rid off. found throughout the island's healthcare institutions growing in colonies of 8 called clinical groups. do not feed!

favourite phrase : " lets go check out that interesting hepatosplenomegaly case! on the way, lets recall the contraindications of using a b-adrenergic receptor blocker on asthmatic patients ok?"

4th yr student aka "the wanderer" : (gosh im tired of typing already) i dunno what goes on in those 4th yrs lah.

5th yr student : ditto above..... i still 2nd yr only with no clinical experience. sorry!

yep what an anticlimatic ending! oh dear.....oh well hope u enjoyed the 1st 4 ranks of The Order at least....

good bye
joshua

water woes

2006-09-11T07:41:00.000-07:00

actually im rather tired and didnt wanna blog but an incident today took the cake...

whilst having lunch, i was thirsty and espied a water bottle lying on the canteen table directly in front of newman's bag. SO...being thirsty, and justifiably assuming that the water belonged to him, i asked for permission to drink it

me: eh is that water yours?
nm: its ok u can drink it
me: ok....
*drinks water*
nm: *laughs*
nm: i never said it was my water hahahahahahahahahaha x 100
me: wtf!#*()&!#$#&^ccb!#^&* x 1000

shite! it really wasnt his water! and he wasnt bullshiting like he always does! you.DICK.

and me with my recovering cough and all dammit...
(kept thinking of herpes simplex type 1 for some weird reason after tt)

*cough cough*
josh

oh if only i could be there again....*sigh* (the dates are wrong btw)

its started. again...

2006-08-25T03:29:00.000-07:00

hello and sorry for the month long hiatus

its started. again. this time twice the "fun" and "excitement"
m2 year....microbiology, immunology, pharmacology, pathology, cofm and neuroscience...whoopee!! im dead.

its rather draining, and the lectures are proceeding at a breakneck pace as usual. the days are soooo much longer, and having been kicked out of hall, i nid to spend much more time commuting from home to the YLLSOM (stupid name)....it takes 1 1/2 hrs to get home by public transport after lessons! crazy man.....

i want to focus on happier times, but it all goes hazy. ipho....unPHOgettable indeed....medicamp was cool too...photos will be posted soon....plus i still have my europe trip pics...

time now is the most precious commodity...specifically, time for myself. in the mad rush tt is school, that is sadly lacking.

till i get time and reason to blog again...
joshua

Firenze means Florence

2006-07-30T05:55:00.000-07:00

shot of the beautiful tuscan countryside

alleyway with striking red flowerpot- San Gigmiano, Tuscany

towers of san gigmiano, tuscany region

sunset along the arno river, firenze

play of light on statue. Duomo, Florence
candles for worship shot inside the Duomo, Florence

On the issues of Friendship and Hospitality: A Clinical Dissertation

2006-07-29T08:33:00.000-07:00

my 2nd article for the vcf newsletter, epistole..

“A Scout makes friends, establishes and maintains harmonious relationships” – so goes one of the rules for being a good boy scout. Such a one-liner however, is deceptively difficult to adhere to. Notice the phrase “Make friends” as opposed to merely “finding friends” , as well as to “establish and maintain harmonious relationships” as opposed to merely “living peacefully with others”. Consider also the stakes involved. A person who is able to achieve the above, besides not only fulfilling his duties as a scout, would also find life to be extremely smooth sailing, with a bevy of people (seemingly) at his beck and call should he ever require assistance, help or just a listening ear. Now imagine the reverse. No words are necessary isn’t it?

In this issue, we will tackle two distinct, but related, issues. That of “Friendship” and that of “Hospitality”. Imagine with me, if you would, two concentric circles. Label the outer one 1 and the inner one 2. Now let 1 be the realm of Hospitality, whilst 2 would be a subset of that, which would be Friendship. Let us consider the smaller circle of friendship first. For most of us, this circle of friends (such an apt example) is far easier to cultivate. The notion of friendship can and should be distilled from the myriad of relationships that we have with other people on a daily basis. Most of us have a pretty good idea of how to be a good friend already. Simply put, a good friend should be someone the other party is always happy to be around with. He/she should be someone you can rely on to help you in times of need, or provide a listening ear, or simply to have fun with. Most importantly, good friends are sincere in their dealings with you. There is mutual trust, understanding of each other’s idiosyncrasies and mutual acceptance of each other’s weaknesses. So “making friends”, as long as it is with the Right People, is a piece of cake, well within our Comfort Zone, and the majority of us are adept at doing that.

The challenge of course, comes when we hit the 2nd, outer circle called Hospitality. This is outside our circle of friends, and implicitly, also outside our Comfort Zone! These are the people you have to reach out to, be it in your sphere of work, study or simply daily life. These are the people who may not have the same interests/race/religion/moral values etc and hence you may not be inclined to get to know them better, except due to other circumstances, you have no choice but to “establish and maintain harmonious relationships” with them. I’ll provide 2 examples from my own life.

Firstly, as a medical student and future doctor, I will inevitably come into contact with hospital administration and of course, the patients (simultaneously the reason and the bane of my existence) complete with their demanding attitudes and ungrateful demeanor. Whilst I have not personally found an answer as to how to deal with these 2 groups of people, my 2nd example should provide a bit more insight.

The 37th International Physics Olympiad was recently held in Singapore, and I signed on to be a tour guide for the international delegates coming here. As it turned out, I was in charge of the delegates from Israel. In my 10 days of showing them around Singapore, I believe I have grasped the true meaning of Hospitality, that it is both a façade and an ethos. What do I mean?

It is easy enough to paste a smile on your face and exchange pleasant small talk when things are going well, but all this is a façade, one that cannot sustain you beyond a few days at best. Then the ethos of Hospitality kicks in. A discerning eye to figure out the wants and needs of another person and knowing how best to meet them, knowing when to give in, and when to stand your ground based on your own values, knowing a person’s culture and background to avoid potential conversational faux pas, keeping a cool and rational front, always smiling, even if things are not going your way, and always, always keeping your mind and heart focused on the bigger picture--- that you are here to help and to serve others. That is the true meaning of hospitality. That is how to step out of your Comfort Zone, and that, in the words of a book title, is how you win friends, influence other people, and be a good boy scout whilst you’re at it.

Joshua

all roads lead to rome

2006-07-26T07:30:00.000-07:00

some artistic shot i tried to take heh

roman ruins

cross in the colosseum. oh the irony!!

victor emmanuel III memorial (aka tomb of the unknown soldier)... i liked the architecture alot

kevin and the room in which we stayed in...really cramped.. ):

one of the lavish corridors of vatican museum
the 3 musketeers!! st peter's basilica as the stunning backdrop..
spiral staircase in the vatican museum

coming home

2006-06-28T01:08:00.000-07:00

hey all

todae is my final dae in london....blogging now at kevin's sisters apartment.

london is nice. the people speak english...unlike the bloody french and italians....haha yes im anglophilic! but singapore is also nice...cos its home (awww...) i'm at the stage where im satisfied...ive seen what i wanted to see, done what i needed to do, shopped enough...oh shopping is fun....how often can one say that you could pop over to london for a spot of shopping? heh i sound like a tai tai already bleah

argh im not really looking forward to getting back to sunny singapore though....ipho beckons! and i've barely memorized my scripts! and my email is going to be flooded by work! just like army daes! bloody hell.

will post more pictures when i get back. internet here is abit erratic

"home is where the heart is"-- josh

photos frm italie

2006-06-25T01:53:00.000-07:00

view from the top of st peter's basilica

vatican city

Clothing fit for The King

2006-06-05T08:16:00.000-07:00

and no The King isnt elvis.... >_< this is an article on attire that i will be submitting to Epistole, the newsletter arm of VCF. enjoy! this will also probably be my last post for the next 3 wks as i jet off to europe, for some well deserved R&R!! byeeee (((:

*Clothing fit for The King*

Mini Skirt : +25 to “sex appeal”
+ 15 to “self confidence”
- 20 to “decent image”
(note: attributes will stack with other apparel such as tube tops, spaghetti straps and sport bra lines, allowing players to level up faster)

The above is a rather popular article of clothing worn by young girls today, as they immerse themselves in the immensely popular role-playing game (RPG) called “Life”. Guys too, aren’t exempt as they buy the most outrageous outfits and accessories to project a certain image for the approval of their peers. Is it wrong to want to dress nicely? Where should the line (if any) be drawn vis-à-vis Christian and secular values prevalent amongst our youth today? Lastly, this being a Christian newsletter, what does the Bible have to say regarding this issue?

Firstly, let me state categorically that I have nothing against the desire to dress nicely, and I believe in the importance of dressing well, according to the different social situations that we find ourselves in. The issue here is the Image that we consciously or unconsciously portray as a result of an Inappriopriate Dress Sense that causes unnecessary attention or friction between ourselves and the people that we are with at that point in time. Examples abound. The girl in church wearing a skimpy number that causes all the guys around her to be distracted, the guy with a death metal rock emblem emblazoned on his shirt trying to do street evangelism, the group that volunteers to serve as church ushers dressed in t-shirt and flip-flops….extreme examples no doubt, but one that illustrates the point mentioned above.

The truth of course, is far greyer. A line has to be drawn demarcating the point at which good taste and common decency act as a counterpoint to the vagaries of fashion and the vicissitudes of teenage opinions. Hence I will attempt to provide here the ABCs as a guideline to what constitutes good attire, and what does not.

Avert your eyes! This is especially applicable to the men amongst us today. Do we (yes myself included) need yet another reminder that to look at a woman with lust is already committing adultery under the laws of God? It is never quite within our control to decide what the girls will wear, but how we choose to react and respond to such distractions would definitely make a difference between spending quality time with God, and the reverse, which would be to sin against God by pandering to this aspect of our earthly desires. It really is as serious as that!

Be considerate. This is for the girls. The Bible clearly states that one should not do anything that would cause their fellow brother to stumble. If a guy feedbacks to you about your attire (or lack thereof), don’t take it as a compliment! Neither should you castigate him for being a busybody. Instead, ponder over the real reason why you choose to don that sexy number more fit for the nightclub than that Sunday worship service. I believe the subsequent attention you receive can hardly be considered as flattering (although it may feel good for a short while) as it denigrates you as a person and reduces you to a mere object of surreptitious voyeurism on the part of most males present. I believe I speak for all girls when they say that that is the absolute Worst Thing that can happen to them on any given day!

Christ Centered, Always. Let us never forget that we are constantly under His Scrutiny as well as under the scrutiny of other people like our fellow church goers, our elders, our parents and for some of us, our younger cell members or siblings that are under our charge and over whom we consciously or unconsciously exert a great deal of influence over. Bear in mind that our bodies are a holy temple of God, and what we choose to clothe it in as we enter into His Courts to worship Him is a definite reflection of our attitude and the deference that we accord The King of Kings, and the Lord of Lords!

Yours in Christ
Joshua
Faculty of Medicine

the difference between martyrdom and sucide is press coverage

2006-06-04T19:53:00.000-07:00

heh saw the above title somewhere, and though i dun really agree with it, it does hold some truth...

crap. ive just been feeling abit depressed these couple of daes.....

firstly iPHO trg on sat was shite...the dance trg was fun, but i didnt realize tt we had to memorize the script for the civic district and PRESENT it to our group! so i panicked...and madly tried to start mugging in weird places...the mrt (a new mugging first!) whilst having lunch....what a bloody waste of time....when it was my turn to present, i could only smoke my way half-assed through it...barely knowing what to say, surreptiously glancing at my script in a pathetic attempt to glean more information from those unhelpful words..felt terrible. i wondered if i would get kicked out of ipho becuz of my indiscretion. apparently however, ruimin (head honcho) found it acceptable so THANK GOD

secondly, and more seriously, i've just been feeling really caged recently....like i am supposed to CONFORM to some deluded notions put forth by society in general as to how i am supposed to behave, act, think and interact with others...specifically how my "membership" in the "exclusive" medicine club affords me privileges, but somehow other people venerate/distance themselves from me when i introduce myself to them...making me feel venerated/ostracized. i hate hate hate it! i dont WANT to be DEFINED by my choice of career, i dont WANT to be JUDGED and CATEGORIZED based on my course of study...i dont WANT me and my fellow medicine classmates to be polarized into "US" and "THEM" its making me depressed as realization slowly dawns on me that most of the relationships of all kinds that i will foster in the future inevitably has its basis on the fact of what i will eventually (hopefully) become.... my life is becoming regressively one-dimentional...with my waking thoughts, actions, and interactions increasingly based on one topic only.....and its not only me! the blogs of my fellow classmates are filed with words all in the same vein too...

am i even making sense???? please dont flame me...

the only thing that i would gladly accede to being stereotyped as is an acs boy...specifically a barker boy. barker was, and still is i believe, a seminal point in my life thus far, determining who i am, and who i will be. the school is a perfect juxtapositioning of the prestige that comes with the acs branding, and the compassion that guides the school and its teachers. barker was, and is, a safety net for those who kinda fell through the gaps of the psle, and some 12 yrs after it started, the school's original mission and raison 'd etre still lives in the the lives of her students and those privileged to have passed though her portals. for she symbolizes hope...dreams....possibilities that do not end when u receive your less than stellar psle results.

i have always been part of the underdogs i think, and even now as i mix with the "big boys" in The Game, that slightly rebellious, non-conformist me always lies just below the veneer of my visage.

Serendipitous perhaps, that i have found myself in melancholy remonstrations of a fate that many would dearly love to partake of? hardly, for i know in my heart of hearts that even as i struggle along the road of self recognition, self-fufillment and the traditional markers of success.... it is all according to Gods perfect will, and his plan for my life will never be reduced to be defined by the slip of paper that for better or worse, other people will use to define me.

just a barker boy.
joshua

part 2 of my nonsense

2006-05-26T20:01:00.000-07:00

"whats your name girl?"

" gisele"

" your full name girl"

" gisele bundchen"

" du sprechen deutch?"

" Ja! Sprechen Sie Deutsch auch? "

" well no...i dont speak german. lets carry on. "

" oh. alrite then."

" now bund, may i call u bund? select a crayon from the box and begin colouring this picture "

*she takes a crayon, an orange one, and begins to colour. she takes another crayon, another colour and colours more*

" nonono! this is all wrong! stop!"

" why is it wrong?"

" you're mixing them colours! you're supposed to colour each part of the picture separately! "

" i think it looks nice what...see the two colours merge to form new shades! "

" what are u talking about...thats a smudge u just created...colour it properly from now on ok....nono dont erase it, just leave it. if u erase that..thing, the smudge will just grow larger... "

" oh. ok."

" colour the different parts separately, it makes it easier for us to see the whole picture more clearly alright?"

" ok. "

" um sir?"

" yes what is it now? "

" about that smudge.."

" i said leave it there...theres nothing u can do about it now.."

" no sir...its just that...u made me feel rather like a smudge too...like an imperfection in your eyes that cannot be redeemed.."

" oh. OH. (oh no)... i see...well waddaya know times up! dont worry about it all these colours fade with time haha! see u next week same time ok? "

...

thought about this in the shower today. hehe

josh

crayons for joo?

2006-05-25T18:56:00.000-07:00

" So heres a box of crayons. pick and choose a colour that describes you best"

" um...i dunno...how about the brightest one? the brightest crayon in the box for me? that's me i think....."

" why not the dull coloured ones? isnt your character is more like that?"

...

myself....i'd rather not choose any colour. must think outside the (crayoned) box!

psychoanalyse THAT freud!! muahahaha

josh

Locked out of God's Presence

2006-05-14T00:11:00.000-07:00

ok lah not tt jialat...

went late for service todae....kena locked out of my own church (FCBC)...how sad is tt.....so went for a neighbouring service...none other than the hip happeningz cool awesome "with it" church CITY HARVEST haha

not bad lah the service..

for mothers day they gave a free book and a rose! i didnt even buy MY mum a rose (although i did spend alot more on a meal heh)

FCBC didnt give anything!

oh btw im the IPHO student liason officer for ISRAEL!! how cool is that....

just hope they dun get blown up or anything whilst im with them....that'll be so tragic heh.....just kidding!! (the blowing up, not the tragic part)

God Bless
Joshua

Hem and Haw

2006-05-02T03:53:00.000-07:00

hello and apologies for not updating...

this time i plead bo chapness, rather than work....cos theres NO WORK!! muahahaha.....see the excuse fits the occasion

this holidays (holidays!! wow!!) i have several things planned up

1) relief teaching at barker.... fun and lucrative and not shiong...what more can i ask?!
2) june escapade into the chi chi lands where ze francais, ze anglais und ze italianos reside.....yep europe! with my 2 sidekicks kevin and darryl.....kevin u better not be too cheapskate while we are there hor.
3) IPHO (international physics olympiad) held in july....basically ill be a (paid!!) tour guide to physics (geeks) for a week or so.....confirmed already...the event, not the presence of geeks.
4) Medicamp OGL!!! this one excites me most of all....cos its my final time being an ogl forevermore....and i intend to enjoy myself to the fullest hahaha

yep tts it....rather packed huh....ok forgettit.

what i really wanna say is that i need money to finance my trip! yep! donations and LOVE GIFTS are very very welcome (:
oh and pls post more on my msgboard pple to make it more lively k

till next time
joshua

freedom

2006-04-13T06:01:00.000-07:00

no vivas no vivas no vivas!

o please no sub papers

please? pretty please?

playing elder scrolls 4 : Oblivion now....smashing good game haha

results on may 4th
judgement day awaits

joshua

We may labour, yes, but we labour not in vain.

2006-03-29T07:31:00.000-08:00

one of my favourite christian songs...challenging each and every one of us to let go, and Let God...in each and every aspect of our lives...

4 daes more....and beyond....let us lean not on our own understanding, our own talents, our own achievements, for they pale in significance to the inheritance we have in Him...the inheritance waiting for us in eternity.

whatever may happen, whatever may come. Lord let your will be done in all circumstances of my life, and may you be given the Glory and Honour forevermore!

"I Know Who Holds Tomorrow"

I don’t know about tomorrow;
I just live from day to day.
I don’t borrow from its sunshine
For its skies may turn to grey.
I don’t worry o’er the future,
For I know what Jesus said.
And today I’ll walk beside Him,
For He knows what is ahead.

Chorus:
Many things about tomorrow
I don’t seem to understand
But I know who holds tomorrow
And I know who holds my hand.

I don’t know about tomorrow;
It may bring me poverty.
But the one who feeds the sparrow,
Is the one who stands by me.
And the path that is my portion
May be through the flame or flood;
But His presence goes before me
And I’m covered with His blood.
(repeat chorus)

"Therefore my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the Work of the Lord, because you know that your labour in the Lord is not in vain" 1 Cor. 15:58

A Mug is not a cup. it is a Lifestyle. my lifestyle.

2006-03-21T06:05:00.000-08:00

hey all

went to the dentist yesterdae to repair a chipped tooth. reminded again that i have a deeply set fear of dentists, drills and me in the same room. stuff of nitemares that.

the First Professional Examinations for the Degrees of MB.BS. (Bachelor of Medicine and Bachelor of Surgery) will be commence in 12 daes time. God Bless Us All.

"1/5 a quack already so happy" Josh

2006-03-01T03:59:00.000-08:00

today was a damn CRAPPEDUP DAY

sorry. i really am.

dumb me
joshua

such is life

2006-02-27T06:37:00.000-08:00

dear all

sorry for the lack of entries these past few wks

its cos of EXAMS!! argh *pull hair of other pple*

im so stresssseddddd sadzzz..

we learn stuff like :" the chorda tympani (from facial nerve) joins up with the lingual nerve (from mandibular br of trigeminal nerve) to supply preganglionic parasympathetic secretomotor fibres to the submandibular gland"

or :" the pteryogomaxillary fissure opens into the pterygopalatine fossa"

or :" paralysis to the 5 branches of the cranial nerve 7 ( temporal, zygomatic, buccal, maxillary and cervical) results in facial paralysis clinically manifested as drooping of the lower eyelid and lateral angle of mouth

or : " the external carotid artery divides into the following branches...superior thyroid, facial, lingual, maxillary, superficial temporal , ascending pharyngeal ,posterior auricular and occipital arteries"

and this is only a small SMALL portion of ONE subject that we nid to memorize....argh

stressed and moody and cranky
josh

Perfection

2006-02-07T02:38:00.000-08:00

as promised in my last post..i have now found the time and the energy to churn out a rather serious topic i have been mulling around when i was supposed to be studying. HAHA.

perfection could be defined as the achievement of a set of criteria , or the attainment of the top strata in a given set of values....normally desirable, and preferably rather hard to achieve....but have we ever thought abt how one defines such a set of values, the crucial point of desirability?

take for example our physical constants that we use to measure and quantify the world in which we live in....i put it to you that we are living in as perfect a world as God has given to us, and that our perceptions and our measure of it is merely a reflection to put into numbers and words that which is eternally beautiful, everything set exactly so with His Divine Purpose and Plan manifested in the Everything, and the Everyday.

follow me so far? good. i shall elucidate. for example, we measure temp in degress celcius....and say that 20-30 degrees is a good temp to live in. our standards for the perfect temp to live in would not be the same were we living say on mars. they would be different! our gradations of temp increase are 100 arbitrary divisions b/w the freezing point, and the boiling point of water at rtp, and these same gradations are also carried over into the kelvin scale, based on the theoretical point of absolute zero (wrt molecular motion). on mars, due to differing pressures and humidity lvls (making bp and mp different), our measurements of even such a basic physical constraint would be different. as would ALL our physical constraints that can be derived from such a different environment....our partial pressures of gases, our measurements of light intensity etc...acceleration would be different too, giving differing scales for wt measurement. and yet some constants would be the same....time for example, would be measured in the same gradations as it is dependent upon the flipping of electrons within an atom...our perceptions of colour would also not differ, as the different energy lvls given off when electrons migrate frm one orbital lvl to another would still be the same. (E=hf remember? haha) my point is this.....we have tailor made values for the world in which we live in , and have given constants to portray what we would perceive to be a utopian existance ( temp 25 degrees, gravity 9.81 , 12 hrs of light, green grasslands and trees, partial pressure of Oxygen at 21mmhg etc) and shud we deviate too far from these set points, death inevitably results.

dont u see? it is the perfect world that God has created for us! and we are quantifying his perfection in numbers and words, creating Our Standards of Perfection based on His!!

but enough of the science. lets take the perfection of sports....the olympics being the penultimate display of the best achievements of the human race in this aspect.....but think deeper....were gravity less prominent, our current standards of the high jump/pole vault would be achieved even by an infant! were the viscosity of water greater, our swimming times would never ever be achieved again! were air resistance greater, our greatest sharpshooters would have to relearn all their shooting and compensation techniques b4 they could hit any targets!

our bodies have been created and maintained in such a way so as to optimally utilize and survive in such an environment. the perfection of the body is a very complex interplay of multitudes of different factors interacting dynamically with the environment we exist in....the balance of which we term as "health"

isnt "health" just the perfect juxtapositioning of our internal constraints with our external ones?

yet again, we see that God's worldly designs determine our definitions of perfection.

Praise His Name Forever! :P

joshua

xing nian quai le

2006-01-27T01:27:00.000-08:00

hey all

sorry for the lack of entries over the past 3 wks heh

i plead work. what else. also i have become rather addicted to this computer game called rome total war barbarian invasion....so engrossed i am that i can play it for hours and still find it fun haha

oh well we are doing head and neck for anatomy now....and i lift up my levator labii superioris alaeque nasi muscle in an approximation of a sneer, despairing at the sheer amts of stuff we had to remember. ok i just wanted to invent a sentence to insert in the levator labii superioris alaeque nasi muscle...haha! see i did it again!! (: playing with heads in the anatomy hall is gruesomely fun...i used the forceps to poke at the eye from within hahaha how cool is tt.

oh i also donated blood for the 1st time in my life yesterdae....wanted to feel how a 10% decrease in intravascular vol would lead to an overriding of the control mechanisms for ECF osmolality, and cause immediate ADH secretion and sympathetic discharge for systemic vasoconstriction....hahaha talk abt using myself as a patient. well the textbooks are right. i know that now.... i always thought physiology was half bulls*** heh.

i will soon post a very interesting topic i have been mulling around in my head (the frontal lobes of the cerebral cortex specifically) for some time now entitled :" Our standards of perfection merely rest on God's Standards of Perfection"

till then...happy chinese new year...and may we all grow rich upon the generosity of long lost relatives who came into mysterious inheritances haha :P

love
joshua

the sick cycle carousel begins

2006-01-10T21:55:00.000-08:00

school has started..

daes of relentless studying, trying to listen during lectures, wondering who to have lunch with, cramming/photocopying tutorials and notes, trying to stave off panic and impending doom...relaxing at nite in hostel....midnite suppers....sleep, and repeat ad nauseum.

on another note...there is a rather good medical show on TV now...Gray's Anatomy. the cast is a good mix, the characters are interestingly eccentric, and the content highly watchable. in a word, the show is just...real... im sure all med students will see a little bit of ourselves in all the pple portrayed there...the need to fill/fit into the shoes of your parents/siblings, the need to prove oneself to yourself and others, to excel, the insecurity and inadequacy felt sometimes, a touch of arrogance (c'mon dun deny it lah)....and most often..just bone-dry weariness, feeling as if your life blood has been sucked out of you by seniors and patients.

but i still like the show heh.
when they talk about the causes of oedema i can list them too
when they talk abt using digoxin in heart attack patients i remember the mechanism
when they mention a patient presenting mild colic diverticulosis i know what it is!

but when they talk abt love, i dun know what tt is....

joshua

I, Me and Myself

2006-01-03T02:10:00.000-08:00

hello again....becuz i am bored, feeling a lil' down (schs starting argh), havent got a gf (why? why! *sob*) yet feeling egocentric, i shall post a few pics of myself i found lying ard in my com. haha shameless! yes i know. but i Dont Care so There. (:

my hairstyle on the day i orded! cost 50 bucks frm kimaage.

me back frm taiwan. not the full luggage of Loot!!!

me and my garang warrant officer. 1WO Kalai. fantastic indian.haha.

a taiwanese soldier and me. note the humvee behind which i sat for the 1st time

me and mum. i think i had more muscle then (:

me just before leaving on ex high noon '05. i look more garang than i do now i tink.

my family! this photo won me a free 3 mp digicam hahaha.

2005- i bid thee adieu

2005-12-30T20:16:00.000-08:00

as the year draws to a close, and also becuz i have neglected my blog for 1 week w/o just cause, i have decided to list down a list of memorable ( mostly pleasurable) events that have occured in my life this year

1) Ops Flying Eagle: the tsunami rescue op...i was in the thick of it frm end dec'04 to feb '05...still vividly remember how pathetically drained and tired i was as i went for the new years eve watchnite service at brmc, having ended my work at 9pm, rushing for service which lasted till 2am, then rushing home to catch a few hrs of sleep before reporting for another shift at 7am....our unit was on 24 hr full ops manning.....damn that was a memorable experience

2) Ex High Noon : my 1st and last overseas exercise with the saf as an nsf haha! lasted frm 15th to 27th april.....taiwan....full of bittersweet memories...frm the ninja van, to f***ed up collegues and bosses, to a surprisingly good r&r, and rather interesting nites out....heh...truly the culminating experience of my nsf daes.

3) my 21st bdae party...to signify the true transition from a boy to a man.....it was extremely hectic, as i had returned from taiwan only 2 daes before..... as a side note...this was the year that saw the most invitations to b-dae parties in my life haha...everyone wants to celebrate this significant milestone in our lives....we're old now pple....old!! crap.

4) 17th june 2005. ORD LOH. enuf said....2 yrs 4 mths of highs and lows...and many many memories. thank God for keeping me safe and relatively sound throughout....and teaching me many life lessons, showing me the different kinds of people that exist in this world...and learning more about how i should handle such people

5) my short relief teaching stint at barker....abt 2 wks....for which i received abt $500 all told....not much, but an interesting experience to teach, rather than be taught....it was fun! and i'll probably do it again hehe

6) helping out the logistics team for a church camp in june....i shall never ever again underestimate or underappreciate logistics pple...they are really the ones behind the scene making sure that events happen the way they are planned to. the camp gave me a much needed boost to my faith in general, and helped me bond alot better with my cell members

7) matriculation: my orientation and initiation into the new world that is the Yong Loo Lin School of Medicine, National University of Singapore. getting to know new pple, new faces, realizing that truly i am a civilian and a student instead of a miserable underling blindly following orders... the feeling of actually using my brain and my abilities to help myself, not some career minded superior advance his pay scale...heralded indeed a new and welcome change to my life.

8) trip to KL.....my 1st time mountain climbing...and i must admit...i suck at it....fitness lvls totally gone...leg ached like nobody's business (but at least i can now tell exactly what muscles are aching hahahaha) and rather good shopping in KL.

well tts abt it...a summary of the high and not so high points in my life....a year of changes definitely. school starts in a weeks time, and i foresee my future blog entries getting more and more work related. no new years resolutions for me, 'cos i never keep them anyway.

stay safe, stay happy and happy new year to all

joshua

pigtures

2005-12-21T05:26:00.000-08:00

alvin the keng and his servants

newman horsing around

me at teh summit. note the totally not shacked out cannot think face
a candid shot of us at the mid-pt camp.

josh-in-jungle

4 mad medmen!

the 2 joshuas outside a shop tt spelt our name wrong haha

lets go shopping girls!

2005-12-20T06:17:00.000-08:00

*ok to continue where i left off*

day 3

we were woken up rather early by the guides....they wanted us to go swim in the river or something. CRAZY!! 0740am swim in the river? goodness knows whats inside! and how cold! and how my body ached! cannot move at all. they shud all go fly kite instead.

oh we also took river water cos we were all out of water...luckily we brought water purification tablets so that we wouldnt get cholera or some other vile waterborne disease...so for the 1st time i drank chemically treated river water heh...tasted rather good too.

anyway we finally woke up at almost 10 (haha so indulgent). packed up, had breakfast, broke tents and prepared to move out. tts when we discovered a dead rat in the water. shite. tts the same water we bathed and drank from. abit traumatizing, but we figured the water was rather fast moving...so its contents would not be contaminated.

the trip down to the carpark was pretty uneventful, as the gradient wasnt very steep, and we were eager to go back to KL. however, it was rather painful for me...as i had a blister, and a searing pain in my left leg that came whenever i lifted my foot. sigh. the climb down took abt 90 mins, following which our guides brought us to this nearby hot springs to "cool off" so they said. so ironic. hot springs? cool off? i just wanted to sleep. and shop.. by the time we reached back to KL it was abt 1600H. naturally the 1st thing we did was to bathe (properly), then crash out for awhile. nightime was spent doing a spot of shopping, then someone decided that we shud play DOTA haha. so we went and played for abt 2 hrs....i cannot play for nuts. cos i'm not familiar with the items to buy and the myraid powers of myraid heroes. at least it was rather cheap i guess.

day 4

decreed a day for shopping....morning was spent at times square....where we also managed to watch a movie..chronicles of narnia heh..RM10 only! good show. afternoon was spent at sungei wang, another shopping mall kinda like queensway..where theres lots of stuff to see, and buy. night was spent at chinatown again, before we adjourned back to the hotel room to play cards till like 2am. i also found out i cant play bluff for nuts...

day 5

woke up, had hotel buffet breakfast, then boarded the bus back to s'pore with fond memories of a nice trip

thanks to newman phua chu cheng, joshua lam peng kuan and alvin keng kah heng for making it all possible

quote of the day : "*tugs sleeve* sex! sex!" heh private joke

joshua

Guru-on-Mountains-wise-not-to-descend. Too slippery.

2005-12-20T00:44:00.000-08:00

dear all

im back! 5 daes 4 nites malaysian delight...with a bit of nice primary rainforest scenery (day and night) thrown in! fraternize with the local wildlife! touch the thorns and jump! feed the leeches....so much to see and do...

ok seriously i have 3 pointers to add

1) anyone who calls gunung nuang at 1497m a Hill and not a Mountain should be SHOT. by ME.
2) anyone who calls Bukit Timah Hill a Tough Climb....will face the same abovementioned fate as well.
3) battle scars: 3 blisters on left foot. left 4th toenail and right 5th toenail blackened (with dried blood). leech bite on right hand (dorsum). suspected strained muscle/ligament on left thigh (with associated pain). nearly fractured right patella in bad fall.

day 1

spent the night at newman's house so that we could move out bright and early.. took a bus to golden mile complex to catch the direct shuttle bus to KL. the trip was uneventful, and took abt 8 hrs. arrived KL approx 1700H. checked into hotel room to find chinatown literally at our doorstep. very pleasantly surprised by this. nighttime was spent shopping at some shopping centre, as well as chinatown.

day 2

woke up bright and early. today is the day! all prepped and ready to go...we stepped out of our hotel...into the rain..ARGH so demoralising! exactly what we feared had come to pass. we were wet even before we left KL! thought of "bad omen" crossed my mind. met up with newman's 2 malaysian frends and the 2 guides who would bring us to the top and back. 8 people. 2 cars. 2 hour drive to base of Gunung Nuang. not enjoyable.

reached carpark. felt very garang esp after applying mosquito patch, mosquito repellant and half gloves. light drizzle but raring to gogogo. started to hike....ground was undulating dirt track...incline abt 40 degrees max...so quite ok still. 2 hrs later, we reached base camp (altitude abt 300m) pitched tents.then suddenly the rain got rather heavy. we made the decision to leave packs at the base camp, bringing only food and water. i donned on my yellow plastic temporary raincoat. felt abit demoralised. started the trek to summit approx 1130H.

at this point id like to point out that at 1497m, Gunung Nuang is approx 4-5 times highter than the swisshotel next to cityhall station. thats 1497m of tropical rainforest gentlemen. the track after the base camp doesnt even merit being called a track...it was just a path hewn out of the jungle and periodically cleared. width approx 1.5m. the going started to get tough (what an understatement) ground is mushy soil, and rocks. at one point i distinctly remember sinking my foot ankle deep in mud. ugh ugh! rain was heavy. i was cold, tired and hungry. reached the mid point camp (abt 900m) at 1430H. had a light meal of uncle tobys there. uncle toby never tasted so good and sweet b4. water situation getting precarious cos i drank too much and didnt bring enuf. set off for final leg aprox 1450H.

abt 300m short of the summit the ground suddenly changed. it was mostly rocks, and it was STEEEEP. approx 70-75 degree incline. had to use hands to grab tree roots, and pull myself onto the next rock. dreaded the prospect of climbing down. started to get cramps in my quadriceps femoris, as well as triceps surae haha. the most demoralising part is actually seeing the summit for the 1st time, but having to DESCEND another like 70m and then ascend..so tiring...

reached the summit at abt 1600H. too tired to care! view obscured by clouds and rain. really disappointing!! ate another uncle toby bar to comfort myself. oh i somehow got bitten by a leech as well. so my hand was bleedin and bleedin'.... set off for the base camp ard 1620H

i shud mention that this last part was by far the most morale destroying part...the combination of rain, tired nonresponsive muscles, the dirt and mud, the steep decline, and impending darkness combined to make me feel abit miserable..thoughts of why i ever subjected myself to such paain ran throught my head. seriously the only thing more shiong that ive ever done is ex nutcracker( trench ex) and that was 2 1/2 years ago!!! why oh why oh why....orded personnel shud make slacking their main priority in life..

anyway....the descent was just. shack. words cannot describe my fatigue...i was on the verge of exhaustion. so shack that at times i just sat on the ground and pushed myself downwards. perversely, i rather enjoyed that actually...felt like i was on a slide since the ground was soo slippery hahaha. i didnt even feel very happy when i reached base camp abt 1930H cos i had past the point of emotions and caring long ago. washed up in the river (coolllddddd), ate dinner then crashed out.

*ok the rest of the story will come later im gonna take a break nowz*

3SG (NS!!) Joshua

(or at least me)

2005-12-14T19:23:00.000-08:00

hey there!

sorry for the no updates over teh past few daes..cos i have been rather busy..preparing for my hiking trip...catching up with overseas friends...reading a very good book...going for a party tonite....haha quite the social butterfly eh

oh well... meeting up with people u hardly see really leaves u (or at least me) feeling so nostalgic after the meeting is over. it just leaves u ( or at least me) thinking how good life seemed to be when we (or at least me) were younger. the mind just blots out all the unpleasantness of youth..leaving us to view our (or at least my) halcyon past through rose-tinted lenses haha.

it feels reeeeaally good not to have school. school is orgasmic. jam packed with hardly time to breathe. so unlike army. and i daresay worse than jc in terms of intensity. relaxing is good. i rot as i type heh.

i'l leave u with a secular piece of writing...there are some parts which i dun quite agree with (esp the healthy child part) but quite inspiring nonetheless..

" to laugh often and much,
to win the respect of intelligent people,
and affection of children, to earn the
appreciation of honest critics and endure
the betrayal of false friends,
to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others,
to leave the world a bit better, whether by a
healthy child, a garden patch, or a
redeemed social condition, to know even
one life has breathed easier because you have lived
this is to have succeeded."

Ralph Waldo Emerson

love
joshua

je ne sais quoi

2005-12-11T06:17:00.000-08:00

noun: A quality or attribute that is difficult to describe or express...

eg: attending church in a converted warehouse/exhibition space has a certain je ne sais quoi that leaves my mien slightly off kilter..

haha...chemmology siah. oh well today was the first dae of church service in the new max pavillion....which is halls 8, 9 and 10 of the Singapore Expo....my new haunt every sunday from 1.30pm to 3.30pm....the youth service of FCBC.

if u would recall a few posts back i was not exactly totally thrilled by the prospect of this "big move" from such a nice, central location to such an ULU ULU one arrrgh. i mean...expo is like siberia in timbucktoo if u get my drift heh.....so it was with a mixture of anticipation and trepidation that i went for church service today.....

in my case however, anticipation and trepidation soon blended together and annihilated each other....producing apathy in the end haha....

i must say however, worshipping as a whole youthnet does confer some sort of corporate worship benefits to it....i mean...it is invigorating to see soo many many fellow christians worshipping together as a body of Christ, exalting His Name, and generally feeling that u r indeed part of a larger plan , part of a larger purpose, part of a larger future! hehe.

i'll leave u for the night with one of my more favourite verses..forgot where it was from though hehe. perhaps someone more inspired could tell me..

"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High, will rest in the shadow of the Almighty"

goodnight

joshua

Re-search...fatty fatty pom pom

2005-12-08T22:02:00.000-08:00

gentlemen......FRS is OVER!!!!! *dances in joy*

omg the symposium room was soo smoky today......lots of smoke ......smoke here smoke there...

"smoke grenade......smoke out!"

whew. i was actually abit stressed out as i was the group leader....and had initial apprehensions over whether we could actually pull something credible out of our collective hats.

thank God that the group i led is really cool...cos everyone was willing to take my arrows (lets not mince words) and my nonsense.....and it was a challenge to bring the discussions back to focus at times....special thanks to kumaran, who had so many great ideas, and joachim, who even though came the LATEST for ALL our meetings....thankfully had an sbo full of smoke grenades...which he liberally threw around the room. we actually took waay more than the stipulated 10 mins per presentation....but what can i say...time constraints shud never get in the way of good research hahaha. i heard horror stories of other groups who were super bo chup, and left everything to just one or two pple to pia....thank goodness this didnt happen in my group....thank you!!!

on a more serious note...our research topic was really quite interesting. did u know for example, that apart from the normal causes of obesity being lifestyle, food intake, genes etc etc....there is actually a flu like virus that inhibits degradation/usage of fat cells...leading to obesity? i didnt know tt too. adenovirus-36 people...the virus u shud look out for. fat people all over the world rejoice! its not really your fault that u r obese! rather, it could just be ad-36 acting up in you....and that is one of the major benefits of this research... to reallocate blame from the individual to the disease....to show the world that Obesity is a Clinical Problem that Can Be Solved....to give hope to millions of laterally generous people the world over! bleargh.

ok...on an unrelated note....just to show i like being artSY fartSY, ill include a short poem that is really nice....pity i didnt compose this though...

"Dance like no one is watching,
Love like you've never been hurt,
Sing like no one is listening,
Live like its Heaven on Earth"

wunnerful innit.
joshua.

the silent majority

2005-12-07T04:34:00.000-08:00

the silent majority
thats us boys and girls
we hanker for favour
and want to be heard

multitudes of people
passing us by,
some vanish into obscurity
some stop to say hi

throngs of humanity
no time for each other
apathy reigns
too much trouble, dont bother

yet

we dance when we're happy
we cry when we're hurt
but in society's eyes
"thats just sissy" they blurt

this message is then
for the unseen, the unheard
stand up! be counted!
dont just follow the herd!

a haiku by joshua. dank yew.

there is no "i" in team

2005-12-05T00:08:00.000-08:00

i think i failed to help someone in need todae...and im feeling rather bad becos of it....
in my defence, i plead time constraints, distance and pressing engagements becos 1) it was kinda last minute, 2) i had work to do that day 3) i had to meet friends from overseas. 4) NUS is reaaally far away

nuff said lah forgeddit.

a team is a group of people, often from different backgrounds, opinions, and agendas who group together for work related purposes, united only in the fact that they have a common goal to work for. ( and sometimes this isnt even true)

i never really considered myself a team player actually. scholarship boards beware! not tt i'll ever have a chance to get a scholarship any more hahaha. the whole concept of a team sounds rather alien to me, and here i will list out the reasons why...

1) there is often a hiraerchy in a team ----- i CANNOT STAND bullshit, horseshit or any kind of shit that "buttering up" your superiors necessarily entails. i learnt this in army. i suck at carrying balls, period. i just feel it takes a bit of my soul away from me to do something that repugnant just to gain favour. i tried it, cant do it, therefore i hate it hahahaha.

2) taking the hit----- this is another pet peeve. often there is a need for someone in the team to do something nobody wants....to "take one for the team brudder". in a word, self-sacrifice. its unavoidable usually....but evil.... tts why i hate "taking the hit"

3) arrowing--- if u are unfortunately the team leader, then sooner or later u will have to "delegate responsibilities" aka shooting arrows. this is very unpleasant (for me) becos left to my own devices, id rather do everything myself just so that everything happens Just The Way I Like It. im a control freak heh. with other people, u never know the standard, or the formatting of the work given, and tt gets irritating when we have to compile our combined efforts together!

there are more reasons, but im lazy to type and think.
in other more brainless news, todae my family and i had the pleasure of meeting up with some old friends from down under.
it really is very nice to see people from your childhood again, especially if u see them only like once a year, or even less. their son is 17 this year, and about to enter uni next year! sigh. what is happening to my life. i crave happiness and fufillment, and yet instead all i get is little dabs of happiness, little splotches of fufillment....and loads of waiting time.

Praise God though. mebbe he is showing me that balance in life, consists of long waiting times b/w bouts of happiness, and bouts of fufillment. not having these feelings all, or even most of the time, just makes these moments more precious to treasure and behold when they do arrive.

after all too much happiness= frivolity=useless bum hahaha

hope im making sense

joshua

mal-aysia....truly asia!

2005-12-04T05:53:00.000-08:00

todae marks a turning point in my life thus far. it marks the point where i voluntarily submit myself to future hardship and physical strain....all for...what? why?...

i cannot answer that now. i do not know. perhaps i will answer it when i get back.

anyway we are going to this big ass hill called gunung nuang. never heard of before right? neither have i. its in the state of selangor, just outside KL proper....along the titiwangsa mountain range. height: approx 1.5km

the plan is to chop chop climb that thing, then head to KL for some fun! yeah...
must be a male thing lah...this conquering nature's contours....Grrr...let me at 'em.

*note to friends. please dont laugh*

the big move

2005-12-03T07:15:00.000-08:00

ok this post is probably gonna be a bit long so bear with me..

my church is finally moving out of the marine parade venue we've been worshipping for the past 12 years or so. we're moving to the EXPO!....Max pavillion or something.

tonight was the last service held, and i had bittersweet feelings throughout..kinda like the kind u have when a phase in your life has ended and a new one is beginning...except im not really looking forward to this "new phase" all that much...

well u might wonder why...i mean..ive been coming to FCBC ever since i was a little boy....going to sundae school since like pri 3 ...and now im in uni man...its been a long time. when i first came, the current building wasnt even bought yet, and we were worshipping at temporary premises in the SLF building. i guess those were the halcyon days of youth, where everyone was a friend to everyone else, and i really looked forward to sunday school every week.

how has things changed since then? i guess ive become more....jaded? morose? disillusioned?

just about everyone i know since my childhood church daes has left the church, due to various reasons. migrating, changing church, etc have all taken a toll on my circle of church friends, to the extent that i pretty much dont know anyone now in my church, even though ive been going there for more than a decade and counting.

i used to hate the youth service, and avoided it religiously hahaha...why? cos i felt the jumping around and shouting and fainting and crying and speaking of tongues was too much for me to handle....not that any of that is wrong mind you...its just that i was more used to the adult service. also, i look at all those kids jumping around, looking like they are really really on fire for christ, and i think to myself.....are they there for a fun experience, or a life changing spiritual one...i am not qualified to answer that, and i hope fervently for their sake that its the latter, not the former, that keeps them coming back to church week after week. what i can say though, is this.....where is my generation??!!! where are all the pple i knew when i was a kid coming to church??!! where have they all disappeared to.....

they have gone.

i guess we are at the time of our lives now with so many distractions, and so many past hurts, that it just becomes so easy to give up the faith, to quit the race.....to abandon your heritage and leave the prophisies (sic?) of our lives unfufilled. i know many who have gone through the caudron of the army, and left it with their faith in tatters. i know pple of my age, christians, who are already married with kids...all because of a lapse of judgement and self control. so many pple, those who were so enthusiastic about the faith when they were young...have turned out to be the ones that have backslided in one way or another. thats where my generation has gone, and tts why i hardly know this whole new batch of kids in the youth service.

it is my fervent prayer then, that i will never walk down this road...that even though i am by no means a model christian, or even a good one at that...i need that childlike faith to keep trusting God in everything i do....and lean not on my own understanding.

because the way i see it....if i lose God, im gonna lose myself as well...and i dont think i have what it takes to survive that.

sorry for the rather depressing post, but i had to get it off my chest. haiz.

oh well, i do believe the big move is all for the best, for the Church and for the furtherance of His Kingdom. may FCBC and her members continue to shine on for Jesus, in all circumstances.

Joshua

medcap madness aka PDP

2005-12-01T06:10:00.000-08:00

ok the belowmentioned event happened abt a week ago.

the star of the show was yours truly...

for the uninitiated, PDP stands for Physician Development Programme, whereby clueless students get all preened up (shirt tie WHITE lab coat) and interact with real life patients (some not so much life left....)

sounds like a recipe for disaster? u bet. tts why we call it the Pretend Doctor Programme....so witty huh.

scene: hospital ward XX

patient : some old woman with arthiritis in her right leg, a suspected skin infection on the foot, general malaise, and the usual high BP secondary to hypertension

transcipt: we were supposed to learn "patient bedside manners", ie. dumbed down talk to find out as much as we can abt the patients history, various aches and pains, and lifestyle characteristics that would enable us to make a preliminary diagnosis of their condition.

sounds easy rite? just tok cok rite? rite?
WRONG.
but i didnt know tt see....so i kinda volunteered to clerk (thats the word we use to speak to patients) this old woman

ok heres what happened. i asked her how she was (in english)--- no response...some mumbling only

i asked her how she was ( in chinese)--- same as above...no observable rxn

i asked her how she was (in hokkien)---- hallelujah! she responded! in cantonese. which i dunt know..

thats how we tokked.. my pidgin hokkien, her pidgin cantonese (and hokkien, which she knew abit) and the doctor in charge, together with my pdp mate, as ad hoc interpreters... i found out she has difficulty standing up and walking (right leg pain) mild oedema(swelling) observed together with some paresthesia(numbness)...weakness in abduction of left arm with reduced grasping action.

wow. i felt so pro.

then i asked her ( in hokkien) : aunty, how did u come to be admitted?
auntie (in hokkien) : oh, i fainted
me: how did u faint?
auntie: uh...i dont really know...all i remember is that i felt sleepy so i slept...then when i woke up i found myself in hospital already
me: (tries to stop giggling) ah....ok...
me: (aside to fellow pdp mates) hey i think she just overslept lor...

truly....real life lost in translation....
but she was such a nice patient....de best! she practically cajoled me to feel her aches and bumps, and arthritic joints, and inflammed foot. i felt abit disgusted, but at the same time, kinda honoured to be fondling the feet of some old woman...

ok sounds sick.
um....yeah....so tts pdp in a nut shell.

later!

after action review

2005-11-30T08:25:00.000-08:00

ca's just finished. im screwed.

on a brighter note....no one screwed me except myself. yep hope tts bright enuf

things to do:

1) continue wallowing in self pity
2) rinse and repeat
3) wake up my F. idea
4) rinse and repeat.

muse is a good band. random musings.

later~

the beginning

2005-11-30T08:02:00.000-08:00

- start transmission-

...signal strength 5 by 5...

ok a big shout out to an anonymous world.... now to lay some ground rules!

intentions of higher HQ : to create a blog whereby thoughts, musings, opinions and general daily discourse will be aired on a semi regular basis. day to day activities and events may be mentioned, but will be of secondary importance.

command guidiance : unless otherwise stated, all content posted on this blog is Strictly Fictional, and any resemblance or inference to real world events is purely coincidential....it probably happened in a parallel universe or sumthin'. comments are welcome, but common sense and basic courtesy must be adhered to. defamation/flaming will not be tolerated!

Preparation Before Hostilities : 2 decades have passed. i think tts time enuf.

Execution Phase I ( 30 2300 - 01 0200) : Code Name-- First Blood
Commencement of Hostilities.
Phase II (01 0200 - 05 2359) : Code Name-- His Tory
Recap of past battles
Phase III (05 2359 - endex) : Code Name-- Read On
Account of future life

Comms Operating Instructions (COI) : call me drong.....dr drong....licensed to heal

Safety Brief : None
Work up Trg : None
Logistics Plan : None
Any other Bullshit (AOB) : None

- end transmision-