medcap madness aka PDP

ok the belowmentioned event happened abt a week ago.

the star of the show was yours truly...

for the uninitiated, PDP stands for Physician Development Programme, whereby clueless students get all preened up (shirt tie WHITE lab coat) and interact with real life patients (some not so much life left....)

sounds like a recipe for disaster? u bet. tts why we call it the Pretend Doctor Programme....so witty huh.

scene: hospital ward XX

patient : some old woman with arthiritis in her right leg, a suspected skin infection on the foot, general malaise, and the usual high BP secondary to hypertension

transcipt: we were supposed to learn "patient bedside manners", ie. dumbed down talk to find out as much as we can abt the patients history, various aches and pains, and lifestyle characteristics that would enable us to make a preliminary diagnosis of their condition.

sounds easy rite? just tok cok rite? rite?
WRONG.
but i didnt know tt see....so i kinda volunteered to clerk (thats the word we use to speak to patients) this old woman

ok heres what happened. i asked her how she was (in english)--- no response...some mumbling only

i asked her how she was ( in chinese)--- same as above...no observable rxn

i asked her how she was (in hokkien)---- hallelujah! she responded! in cantonese. which i dunt know..

thats how we tokked.. my pidgin hokkien, her pidgin cantonese (and hokkien, which she knew abit) and the doctor in charge, together with my pdp mate, as ad hoc interpreters... i found out she has difficulty standing up and walking (right leg pain) mild oedema(swelling) observed together with some paresthesia(numbness)...weakness in abduction of left arm with reduced grasping action.

wow. i felt so pro.

then i asked her ( in hokkien) : aunty, how did u come to be admitted?
auntie (in hokkien) : oh, i fainted
me: how did u faint?
auntie: uh...i dont really know...all i remember is that i felt sleepy so i slept...then when i woke up i found myself in hospital already
me: (tries to stop giggling) ah....ok...
me: (aside to fellow pdp mates) hey i think she just overslept lor...

truly....real life lost in translation....
but she was such a nice patient....de best! she practically cajoled me to feel her aches and bumps, and arthritic joints, and inflammed foot. i felt abit disgusted, but at the same time, kinda honoured to be fondling the feet of some old woman...

ok sounds sick.
um....yeah....so tts pdp in a nut shell.

later!