there is no "i" in team

i think i failed to help someone in need todae...and im feeling rather bad becos of it....
in my defence, i plead time constraints, distance and pressing engagements becos 1) it was kinda last minute, 2) i had work to do that day 3) i had to meet friends from overseas. 4) NUS is reaaally far away

nuff said lah forgeddit.

a team is a group of people, often from different backgrounds, opinions, and agendas who group together for work related purposes, united only in the fact that they have a common goal to work for. ( and sometimes this isnt even true)

i never really considered myself a team player actually. scholarship boards beware! not tt i'll ever have a chance to get a scholarship any more hahaha. the whole concept of a team sounds rather alien to me, and here i will list out the reasons why...

1) there is often a hiraerchy in a team ----- i CANNOT STAND bullshit, horseshit or any kind of shit that "buttering up" your superiors necessarily entails. i learnt this in army. i suck at carrying balls, period. i just feel it takes a bit of my soul away from me to do something that repugnant just to gain favour. i tried it, cant do it, therefore i hate it hahahaha.

2) taking the hit----- this is another pet peeve. often there is a need for someone in the team to do something nobody wants....to "take one for the team brudder". in a word, self-sacrifice. its unavoidable usually....but evil.... tts why i hate "taking the hit"

3) arrowing--- if u are unfortunately the team leader, then sooner or later u will have to "delegate responsibilities" aka shooting arrows. this is very unpleasant (for me) becos left to my own devices, id rather do everything myself just so that everything happens Just The Way I Like It. im a control freak heh. with other people, u never know the standard, or the formatting of the work given, and tt gets irritating when we have to compile our combined efforts together!

there are more reasons, but im lazy to type and think.
in other more brainless news, todae my family and i had the pleasure of meeting up with some old friends from down under.
it really is very nice to see people from your childhood again, especially if u see them only like once a year, or even less. their son is 17 this year, and about to enter uni next year! sigh. what is happening to my life. i crave happiness and fufillment, and yet instead all i get is little dabs of happiness, little splotches of fufillment....and loads of waiting time.

Praise God though. mebbe he is showing me that balance in life, consists of long waiting times b/w bouts of happiness, and bouts of fufillment. not having these feelings all, or even most of the time, just makes these moments more precious to treasure and behold when they do arrive.

after all too much happiness= frivolity=useless bum hahaha

hope im making sense

joshua